I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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