He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
