So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Text me some of your sweat
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
