its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
