Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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