I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need to align my fucking chakras
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
