dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
