You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have post one night stand depression
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