Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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