when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
