Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
