I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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