Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
