remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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