hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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