I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
