So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
