I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize