party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
