Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
