i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
