Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
