I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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