Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
are you so shy because you have an std?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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