On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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