we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
