What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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