after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
