Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Barsexuality is the new black.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
