I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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