How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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