I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
