We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
