bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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