I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
