thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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