do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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