brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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