I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
