we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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