They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
