Ketchup is God's man juice
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
