We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They took my balls.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
