So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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