some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
this hospital has no fireball
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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