Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you had me at cake vodka
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize