Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
