He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
