He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
