Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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