im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
