Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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