I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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