Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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