Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
