I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
