I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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