weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
