how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
